Geekdown: Top Ten Samurai

I dig samurai.  You dig Samurai.  We dig samurai. Chicks dig samurai.  (Or is that Giant Robots?)  Anywho who doesn’t dig samurai?  Lone warrior, loyal to their masters, fighting stuff and killing people.  Done in one, son.  But who is the best samurai?  Now normally that would involve a battle to the death between all these warrior but that would be messy and bloody……and violent…..and…..and…….and…..actually that sounds kind of kick ass!!!  TO THE THUNDERDOME!!!!!

Anywho…here they are.  Kicking ass and taking names!!!  THE SAMURAI!!!

10: Auron

A dead samurai who crosses worlds to help kill Sin.  I mean aside from the fact he can’t wear clothes properly he still is worthy of the list.  I mean look at this guy.  He’s big, he’s scary, and you get enough level up orbs and BAMMO!!!! He unstoppable – except for a phoenix down…..but that brings him back from undead-dead-living-dreamness…….ok I’m confused again.

9  Afro

Take Phil Lamar (see below) add in a pinch of Sam Jackson and RZA rap and you get a sword wielding Nick Fury that flips right the hell out when you reply to his ‘Join the Avengers?’ question with a confused ‘What?’

But seriously he is the Eternal Number 2.  He holds the headband needed to challenge the god-like Number 1.  So he spends his life protecting the headband so one day he can face Number One and run his blade through him.

8  Mugen

Craigslist Ad:

19 year old master of Champuru Kendo (break dancing sword fighting) seeking well dressed (often cross-dressing) samurai to kill.  Prefer if your name is Jin.  Must be into kids born in a penal colony.  I am Rude, lewd, vulgar, and nihilistic.  I enjoy woman – a lot – and fighting.  Your pics get mine.

No crazies!

– ∞

7  Mitsurugi

Every fought a  ninja with eternal camel toe?  He has. Ever fought crazy undead pirate?  He has.  Ever fought creepy doll man with blades?  He has.  Every fought oddly placed – out of era fighters?  Like greek women, a god of war, elf hero, hellspawns, rich fighters, secret apprentices, jumping muppets and a 7 foot cyborg?  He has.  So in 2016 vote Mitsurugi for president!

6  Zatoichi

Imagine being blind.  Now imagine being blind in a series outside of anything Robert J Sawyer rights (so perma blindness).  Now imagine you are the best samurai in the world!!!  Now imagine you’re not really blind.  Now imagine dance numbers!!!

5  Silver Samurai

It’s rare to fight Wolverine and survive.  It even rarer to do it and NOT be Sabertooth.  Now picture the ability to survive a Wolverine fight and do so in a silver suit and have enough clout to do so on screen!  Yeah!!

4  Cyan

This man abilities are so great that he rivals Sabin for deadliest PC in Final Fantasy 6.  Seriously, picture everything Cloud is, everything Squall is, everything Sephiroth and Auron and Tidus is just better!!  Better back story, better progression, better character development and with more honour and skill.  He. Is. Better.

3  Samurai Jack

This is Phil LaMarr at his best!  Picture Hermes from Futurama: Now take away the stamp, add in a sword, remove him from his parents, send him on the Batman-childhood-trainning-montage in which he learns from Robin Hood, Shaolin Monks and warriors from all across the world and you get the greatest warrior ever assembled to fight a great evil.  Ok….now that I think of it.  Hermes might have been a bad starting point.


So this is where my wife and I differed.  We argued who would be number one and who would be number 2 (childish giggle).  What you see below is MY choice, hers would be flipped.  So in short I WON!!!! And I had to sleep on the couch for like two months.   HARSH!!!

2  Himura Kenshin

This samurai was the greatest that ever lived.  He was Battousai the Manslayer a samurai trained from a young age to kill.  His style is so fast that most can’t even see the blade.  But as the war ended he gave up killing.  The only way to give up killing with his style was to get a special blade made: the sakabatō.  This is a katana with the blade on the inside.  So all of his killing stroke no longer killed….they just hurt like a bitch!!  He is a wanderer who has a good heart and a troubled past.  Now he’s trying to save lives instead of taking them.  My wife says he is also super cute!!  That counts for something right?

1  Miyamoto Usagi

I have watched and read loads of bunny based fiction.  This marks the first time the rabbit is male.  Weird.

I first met Usagi in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 80’s cartoon.  He was a badass samurai with bunny ears!!  Then I went and researched who this character was.  That’s how I came across the Usagi Yojimbo comic.  I hunted my library for these books and read each one carefully.  Usagi is a samurai who was trained by a hermit master (I swear every hermit is a master) and then became a samurai to a lord.  Sadly his lord was lost in battle and Usagi was forever doomed to be the ronin.  Now he wanders the world doing good, fighting evil, and protecting the innocent!  Long live the bunny ears!!

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9 Responses to Geekdown: Top Ten Samurai

  1. pattybones2 says:

    Reblogged this on everydayfangirl and commented:
    My favorite samurai, Kenshin, is #2 on this list, but will always be #1 to me!

  2. pattybones2 says:

    I am with your wife on flipping the order! However, a great list anyways and I just had to re-blog it!

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  5. jpfmovies says:

    Zatoichi was not a samurai, he was a Yakuza gambler wondering from town to town putting other Yakuza in their place. In two of his films he has dealings with true Samurai and ends up begging one for his life.

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