Geekdown: Top Ten Wizards

Welcome to Geekdown!  The formula is simple: I give you the Top X Topic of the Day, explain why they are great, brilliant, and FANTASTIC while making snide remarks the entire time.  ENJOY!!

They can summon fire, they can summon water, they can summon badgers to set off their traps and they can do a bunch of other neato stuff.  In the realms of fantasy they wizard has always been iconic.  With their world shattering power at their finger tips they leap into combat, never on the front line but in the back behind all of the fighters, in order to save the world.

But which is more powerful? Which is the best?

Also some of this may be Spoilers…so…..yeah….I warned you.

10: Agahnim

He is a powerful wizard who identity is of much confusion.  Some say he is a corrupted wizard while others boast he is a disguise of Ganon himself, but regardless of his identity he is powerfull non the less.  Once thought to be a hero, Agahnim was given the prestigious positions of chief advisor to the King, priest, and heir to the Seven Sages.  Agahnim used this position and his mysterious magic to brainwash all of Hyrule’s soldiers, dispose of the King of Hyrule, and make six of the Maidens, descendant of the Seven Sages, disappear to the Dark World.

9. Richard

This undead warlock is the bane of Cale existence, and the most powerful ally he has.  The ‘lock is near indestructible, replacing limbs as easy as a lego, and has a seemingly unending source of magical power.  His the mayor of a city of undead who has been destined to protect Cale.  Little is known about his past only that as a child he was one known as ‘Lord Richard.’

8. Gandalf

He was grey, they he got some bleach, now he is white and more powerful.  It is amazing what a good load of laundry, and a set of clean clothes, can do for a person.  If you compare Gandalf to common biblical writings or mythology, then Gandalf is the reincarnated ghost of a deceased angel…and he doesn’t do that much magic either.  The wizards, who enjoys his pipe and halfling grass a little too much, does very little magic.  He has never thrown a fireball and his most powerful spell seems to be ‘Let Balrog Kill Me,’ (Level 3 spell I think), but needless to say he is the iconic wizard that is almost responsible for all wizard.

7. Zeddicus “Zedd” Zu’l Zorander

He is a wizard of the first order, namer of the Seeker of Truth, and man does he love to burn things.  Unlike number 8, Zedd enjoys throwing around his magic fire like it was candy.  He solves all of his problems with Wizard’s Fire.  Locked door: Wizard’s Fire; Death himself: Wizard’s Fire, insufficient funds in ATM: Wizard’s Fire.

6. Vivi Orunita

Vivi is a biologically engineered black mage who is fighting his evil nature and his one year life-span.  He can combine his magic with Stiener’s sword to make flaming swords of death.  At six months old he is the youngest mage not only in this list, but ever.

5. Lady Jaina Proudmore

She is the daughter of a legendary general, the leader of Theramore, one of the slayers of Archimonde, and the rumoured lover of Thrall.   She had a thing for big muscled orcs.  She holds the fragile alliance between the Horde and the…Alliance (boo) and leads the fight alongside Sylvannas against her former lover Arthus.  When she met her ex she blasted him with fire, magic and every spell she could think of.  Where I come from that’s a called a bad breakup.

4. Raistlin Majere

This eternally sick and frail caster is fraught with cruelty, manipulation and cares not if he hurts others in pursuit of his goal.  He has become a god, and gave it up, killed his brother, traveled through time just to fight in a war and then became the sole living creature in the universe.  This is what happens when a wizard gets bored.

3. Harry Dresden

He is the only wizard in the Chicago phonebook, has his own 22 year old smoking hot punk apprentice, a dog the size of a couch, and a perverted talking skull who has a love of romance novels and possessing co-ed university girls to start floor wide orgies.  Harry is the eternal punching bag, he will get hurt and beaten by every villain who shows up but he will get back up and always come out victorious.  In Dresden’s words “If a wizard has time to prepare no man can ever beat him.”

2. Elminster Aumar

He was the song of a king betrayed by the evil Mage lord, so he did what any shared-world’s creator’s personal character would do, learn magic and get revenge.  Elminster, who looks shockingly similar to Canadian creator Ed Greenwood, has a character sheet longer then my arm.  He has levels in fighter, rogue, cleric, wizard, Archmage, and Chosen of Mystra.  He has lived three years as a woman due to a test, bedded the goddess of magic herself, and traveled through time by sleeping for a hundred years.  He has defeated liches, witches, and the armies of hell and yet after all of that he is now a drunk.  Elminster is the perfect example for all mages.

1. Merlin

Before a linguist wrote a book, before Dungeon and Dragons character jumpped off their sheet onto….other sheets, and before wizards decided to live in modern times there was Merlin.  As a child he stop the earthquakes by defeating dragons, he fooled Uther with an illusion at his request, trained Arthur and protected Camelot with his powerful spells.  He is the original wizard and by far the best.  Nuff Said!

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