I’ve grown up with the lesson that if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. It was one of those lessons my Dad taught me, repeating it over and over as I grew up, but like most lessons from Dad, we truly don’t appreciate it until we learn it the hard way. So when I was offered the chance to write a book for Engen Book I was excited but hesitant. So I played along all the while waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Side note: I never understood where that saying came from. When I through my shoes into the corner, like a teenager, gravity make damn sure that they hit at the exact same side.
It’s not that I even distrusted my publisher, quite the opposite. Matt is a great guy who may just be a little too much like me for comfort. In fact I am not entirely sure that he’s not a shoe I abandoned when I was two that evolved into hair and bad-jokes. So if it wasn’t trust then what was it that made me so hesitant about my book actually being published?
I’ve gotten close to getting the ‘dream job’ or getting my ‘life’s wish’ or getting ‘a pot of gold’ or getting ‘two women at once’ but things have always fallen apart, some at the very last moment. Sometimes the project falls apart. Sometimes my potential boss turns out to be bat-crap crazy and a pathological liar, sometimes my wish cannot be granted because the genie is actually just a dick or the leprechaun is actually just a midget, dressed in green, on St. Patty’s day and I’m drunk out of my mind and sometimes the girls just sober up and ask the all important question.
“Wait who are you again?”
Needless to say I was hesitant, not because of people but because of life. But I played along. It’s like the lottery. You have to be in it to win it.
So I wrote, and I wrote and I wrote. Then I edited, wrote some more, added a paragraph specifically to mess with my publisher and reassure that the joke in the book about random guys named Matt had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with him (innocent whistle). All the while I waited for that shoe. That shoe that somehow travelled at a method dissimilar to gravity’s norm.
That shoe hasn’t hit the ground yet. I am 29 days away from release and that show hasn’t hit the ground yet. That shoe is nowhere to be seen. Worse yet, I’m now on Amazon.com The crap? Me? On Amazon? And Goodreads and Barns and Noble and junk.
So here it is. It’s happening. I cannot deny it. I’ve tried, not to sabotage myself or anything, just worried, and hesitant. There’s nothing worse then saying “Hey guys I am getting THIS!!” only to have to go back and say “Oh yeah – that fell through.” Lame.
But I can’t anymore.
I am Larry Gent and I am an author. My first book is called Never Been to Mars and it is due out November 8th, 2013.
Please buy it. You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the book monies. “Where’s the money? “When are you going to get the money?” “Why aren’t you getting the money now?” And so on.